Breaking up is (super) hard to do
Breaking with a spouse, lover or close friend can be devastating, leaving you lost, disoriented and confused. 
At LifeWorks, we understand the pain and suffering of losing an important relationship. Divorce and breakups are devastating life events. Individuals and families experiencing divorce often feel they’re wandering around in a confusion of awful feelings, looking for the new normal.
Are you experiencing…
- Pain?
- Anger?
- Shame?
- Fear?
- Guilt?
- Loneliness?
You’re not alone. All of these feelings are normal during this very difficult time. If you seek help, there is hope.
So what’s around the bend?
Year One: Year of Devastation. Have you experienced…
- a catastrophic sense of loss?
- severe disorientation?
- seemingly overwhelming levels of fear, anger and pain?
- feeling as though everything in your life is in a state of flux?
- inability or reluctance to go back to work?
- dealing with your kids’ trauma as they change schools or leave friends?
This is the most difficult phase of divorce. It’s crucial that you seek help during this first year. Are you ready to reach out?
Year of Devastation Coping Suggestion: Have dinner weekly with someone you care about
Year Two: Year of Recovery
After the initial year of devastation, in which disorientation rules the day, the second year is characterized by adjustment and recovery (yay!)
- Are decisions a little less agonizing?
- Have the nightmarish fears begun to subside?
- Are you beginning to allow yourself to grieve, learn, and begin to accept the changes in your life?
- Have the tears begun to move from panic and hysteria to healing tears of pain and loss?
- Does revenge seem less attractive?
- Are you beginning to find a new identity?
- Are you ready to begin exploring the possibilities?
Counseling in this phase focuses on re-constructing your life – adjusting and growing in this new reality.
Year of Recovery Coping Suggestion: Pick out something you’ve always wanted to do (finish college? take horseback riding lessons?) and do it!
Year Three: Year of Renewal. This is the year you’ve been waiting for. Are you…
- experiencing personal and spiritual growth?
- putting down new roots?
- thinking of dating?
- ready to reclaim lost dreams, or even cultivate new ones?
Year of Renewal Coping Suggestion: Spend a day alone (your wedding anniversary, perhaps) going through old photographs and memorabilia from your marriage. Keep the things that are associated with good memories and throw away the rest.
Every individual experiences these phases at their own rate. No matter what phase of recovery you are in, Lifeworks can help. At LifeWorks, we want to help find that elusive door to recovery and walk through it. Are you ready to seek help? Call Lifeworks today! We want to help.
If you or someone you love has experienced a recent or not so recent split or divorce, or if your children are having trouble adjusting to a break up or divorce we recommend the following LifeWorkers:
Please call or email LifeWorks for more information, or to make an appointment.
Resources:
Divorce Help for Women
Divorce Help for Fathers and Men
Divorce Care
Divorce Recovery 101
