... O'er the fields we go... Reacting all the way ... (FOO FOO FOO!)

We don't know about you, but the whole Currier and Ives thing ain't happening around most of the tables we hear about. During the holidays, FOO issues (That's Family of Origin issues to you therapy novices) are flying around like Santa and his eight tiny resentful reindeer (wishing Santa would stick to his diet for once and stop yelling at them to go faster and why can't he help pack the sled just this one teeny weeny time and hasn't anyone told him about putting his carry-on liquids in a plastic baggie and does he ALWAYS have to wait until the LAST MINUTE to deliver these #@%$#* gifts???)

LifeWorks tips to get your FOO on this happy holiday season:

Let it go, let it go, let it go...
Can you give up your perfectionism? Should you be making throwaway fudge for your kids' teachers this year or just wrap up a Wal-Mart mug and some store-bought hot chocolate? Do you really need to accept that invitation to the annual open house given by the aunt whose dog hates you? Could you let your brother's baiting comments roll off your back? Letting go is essential when dealing with the FOO (and neighbors and teachers and friends...)

You better watch out, She's gonna make you cry, You better not pout, we're telling you why...
Is it just us, or have you been in this FOO your whole life? Has anyone REALLY changed? I mean, she says it EVERY YEAR, doesn't she? Perhaps this year, you could just accept the inevitable and skip the whole indignation, crying jag, resentment, cold-shoulder thing.

Hark the Herald Angels Sing (About Me)
Okay – the narcissist. Every FOO has one. The obnoxious sister that sucks all the air out of the room? The critical, cranky crybaby who thinks the heavens revolve around him? Did you know moods don't have to be contagious? Did you know that one person in the room can be utterly impossible and everyone else can just ... ignore him? Try it. Smile. Think to yourself, "Wow, he's unbelievably self-centered. I've never seen anything quite like it in my whole life." And then move on. Don't waste your energy or your breath.

Silent Fight, Really long Night
One of our favorites... the silent raging tension. You know the scene... everyone in the FOO sitting around the table, clinking silverwear on dishes that never get used, commenting politely on the turkey - and every last one of you resents being there? Our recommendation: Keep it brief. If you must go (and believe it or not, there's no rule that says you have to), go for a brief period of time – as long as you can remain genuinely pleasant and personable – and then ... leave. Your car has those round rubber things on it, doesn't it? Use them.

Jingle Hell, Jingle Hell, Reacting All the Way
A little all-purpose holiday tip: Just DON'T TAKE THE BAIT. Do not get sucked in. Do not get provoked. Boundaries are your friends. Take them with you to meet your family. They'll be surprised (nay, shocked!) by the new member of the group, but eventually, they will adjust.

If you'd like more information about dealing with your FOO, or to schedule an appointment with Gunner and one of his homo sapien co-therapists, give us a jingle at 214 357 4001.

Straight From the Horse's Mouth

Warren Says:

Tidings Of (Southern) Comfort And Joy

Well, here at LifeWorks, we are usually tooting our horn for all of the local Dallas musicians. This month we have a suprise for ya'll. We are tooting our horn for a fantastic musician all the way from Austin. Come check out John Dee Graham on December 30th at Sons of Hermann Hall at the edge of Deep Ellum. In 2000 Jon Dee was named singer/songwriter of the year at The Austin Music Awards at SXSW. He is definitely a taste of Austin that you will not want to miss! His gravely voice, combined with his sincere ability to tap into your soul rivaling the punk ability of Mike Ness from Social Distortion, with the quietness of a sweet lullaby...all under a working class man's insightful lyrics.

For a more traditional touch, The Lone Star Wind Orchestra performs classics like Leroy Anderson's Sleigh Ride, the suite from Tchaikovsky's The Nutcracker and selections from the ever-popular film The Polar Express on Tuesday, December 19 at the Eisemann Center in Richardson, TX. Other works on the program include Leroy Anderson's A Christmas Festival, Frank Ticheli's setting of Franz Schubert's Ave Maria, Percy Grainger's Sussex Mummers Christmas Carol, and Victor Herbert's March of the Toys - all under the direction of Jeffrey D. Gershman and Kimberly J. Tucker. In addition, the Lone Star Wind Orchestra gives the world premiere of Joseph Spaniola's Is there a Santa Claus? The composition features WRR Classical 101.1's Christopher Hackett narrating "Yes, Virginia, There is a Santa Claus." Tickets can be purchased on-line.

Visit LifeWorks Counseling Associates or EMAIL us for more information.

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