How To Get Out Of Egypt:

What NOT to do if someone you love has a problem with substance abuse

Denial ain't just a river in Egypt. If someone you love is abusing alcohol or drugs, perhaps what you do is not as important as what you DON'T do. Here are some behaviors to avoid:

Don't Also be in Denial: Lying to ourselves by blaming the problem on friends, the devil, a school, bad influences, or a phase won't help. Forget about placing blame but focus on the real issue.

It is often said the acronym for denial is Don't Even kNow I Am Lying. So ask the question: what are we lying to ourselves about today?

Don't Enable: Family members inadvertently subsidize a person's drug use by giving them financial support, shelter, transportation, protection from authorities, and a cushion from experiencing hardship. Before a person will get the help they need, we need to get out of the way and allow the loved one to experience the natural consequences of their actions.

Don't Compromise Values: Set boundaries with chemical abusers. If their behavior is not okay with you, let them know! State an intention to look after yourself by setting boundaries. Let abusers know they are loved, but you will not be part of their substance abuse life.

Don't Argue: Being angry and creating conflict does not motivate people to change. We need to take assertive, practical, and caring steps toward helping abusers get help. The desire and craving for drugs is so strong that abusers will fight and argue to continue their consumption. Because of the denial factor, abusers often don't realize they have a problem.

Don't Blame Yourself: People have free will to make choices and choose paths in life. Even though you could have done things differently as a parent, spouse, or friend, don't allow guilt to hold you hostage! And don't let past guilt prevent you from taking present action that is in the best interest of the abuser, yourself, and your loved ones.

Don't forget the 5 C's: You didn't Cause the problem, you Can't control it, and you can't Cure it. But you can Care for your loved one without Carrying them.

For more information about substance abuse, visit our website at http://www.wefixbrains.com, call (214) 357-4001, or request information.

Straight From the Horse's Mouth

Warren Says...

What Lifeworks is Listening to These Days

Salim Nourallah - Beautiful Noise

"Beautiful Noise" is Salim Nourallah's (ex-Nourallah Brothers) 2nd solo offering. It's a 12 song cycle that mainly deals with facing mortality, coping with loss and what it all means to be alive. Pretty heavy stuff but not depressing. There's always a faint lining of hope in Salim's songs that keep his albums from becoming gloom fests. There's also his amazing sense of melody, which can satisfy listeners who don't even pay attention to the words. From the opening lines "We start out in this life in paradise, we only know the joy, the beautiful noise..." to the final track "Life in a Split Second," these songs weave an almost dreamlike thread that makes the listener realize this is an "album." It seems BN was meant to be played from start to finish, carefully sequenced: not just a collection of songs that have nothing in common with each other. --Audrey, amazon.com

Sorta - Little Bay

"You've been just about everywhere, except for where you oughta be," sings Trey Johnson, lead singer and principle songwriter of Dallas-based Sorta, on their second full-length offering, Little Bay. The line just about sums up the record, a restless romp through anxious, country-tinged alt.rock that evokes the solitary discontent of Exile on Main Street by way of Wilco's AM. The album builds slowly, from the acoustic opener "Sink or Swim," to the urgent, open-throated anthem "Tidal Wave." Wedged betwixt the two are a batch of tunes as well-crafted as any you're likely to encounter this year-the baleful drone of "Fallinlove," the bouncy Travis-picking of "To Jenny," and the tense jangle of "Christmas Day," among other choice tracks. Johnson's weathered vocals are those of a man who knows he can't go home again. And if that meant he'd stop writing songs like these, here's hoping he never does. --Dave Sims, Paste Magazine

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