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Are you a partner in the additive cycle?
Addiction is generally defined as a strong emotional and/or psychological dependence on a substance, such as alcohol or drugs, which has progressed beyond voluntary control.
Is someone you love addicted to...
Drugs or alcohol?
Sex?
Pornography?
Food?
Gambling?
Although many addicts do seek help and eventually learn to lead sober lives, those efforts typically come after long and painful struggles that likely affect family members and loved ones including partners or spouses. Researchers and addiction counselors estimate that at least four people are personally affected for each individual’s addiction. Are you one of those four? Call Lifeworks for help.
Spouses of addicts quickly discover that they are in a marriage of three: Husband, Wife and Addiction, with Addiction frequently calling the shots.
Do you spend an enormous amount of time and energy wondering what your loved one will be like each day?
Is your interest in your spouse’s well-being consuming?
Do you believe you can cause, control, or cure the addict’s behavior?
If this sounds familiar, take the Lifeworks challenge. Get help now.
Accepting the falsity of this belief is the key to freedom from the co-addict’s cycle of guilt, responsibility and over-functioning.
Addicts take willing hostages. The addict will decide the overall health of the relationship – how they will parent, where they will live, who their friends will be, how much or how little money they will have, whether or not they will have legal problems. Spouses often comply, however grudgingly, with these demands.
Is your rationale noble – to keep the marriage together?
Are you sacrificing truth and genuine peace to supply harmony for the children?
Are you the only one in the marriage concerned with the marriage vows?
Does this pattern of over-functioning facilitate the problem rather than solving it?
Addicts and their spouses find themselves in a vicious disabling cycle: the more the addict under-functions, the more his or her spouse will compensate for these deficiencies. The result is the ultimate paradox: the more one person overdoes for another, the more they rob the addict of the opportunity to rise to the occasion. The math is simple.
Take the Lifeworks challenge! If you find yourself partnering in this destructive cycle, consider re-considering! At Lifeworks, we believe if you are willing to take this risk, you might not get what you want (harmony), but in the words of the Rolling Stones, you just might find you get what you need. Help is available to help you break your pattern of over-functioning. Call Lifeworks today.
Recommended reading on Spouses of Addicts (Codependents)
Resources links on Spouses of Addicts (Codependents)